This Mattress Will Alert You If Your Partner Is Cheating. No Jokes.

If you are freaking out about your partner cheating on you, never fear – now you can have your mattress on your side! No joke: there is a recently launched mattress named the Smarttress (how punny), that will inform you if s#x is occurring in your b#d (when you aren’t in it). For some, this is a perfect solution to making a cheating partner behave again, for others this is perfect for satisfying a paranoid S.O. – either way, we think it’s wonderfully bizarre.

The Smartress features ultrasonic sensors to measure whether someone is on your mattress when you aren’t around. If it detects said “s#xual motion” (through a formula of impact, intensity, and speed) it will alert you via phone of “suspicious activity”.

While the Smartress hasn’t hit retail stores yet – you can acquire it for a hefty $2,181 with Durmet, the company who designed the mattress. If you are concerned about your partner cheating on you, however, we advise communicating with each other and looking into couples therapy before opting for a s#x-detecting-mattress. After all, your b#droom mattress definitely isn’t the only place one can have s#x. Just sayin’.